43 Signs you might be a business traveler: a humorous look at the life of a road warrior

Jeremy B

5 years ago

Signs you might be a business traveler - road warrior

The life of a business traveler is definitely not sunshine and cupcakes. We spend far too many nights away from our loved ones sleeping in yet another hotel bed that’s not our own. Flitting from city to city inside of an aluminum tube each week we grind it out on the road trying to put food on our tables. So, the least we could do is laugh about it, eh?

If you remember Jeff Foxworthy’s “you might be a redneck” bit, well then, the rest of this article is for you! Here are some serious signs you might be a business traveler – a humorous look at the life of a road warrior.

Signs you might be a business traveler – how to tell!

Here you go…in all of their glory…some clues that maybe, just maybe…you might travel too much!

Enjoy. And don’t giggle too much.

Or cry.

If you hit elite status on two airlines in one year…you might be a business traveler.
If your body never knows what time zone it’s in…you might be a business traveler…who probably needs a nap.
If you sleep better in a hotel bed than your own…you might be a business traveler.
If you sometimes forget what city you are in…you might be a business traveler.
If you go to the hotel room # you stayed in LAST week…you might be a business traveler.
If you own 7 different credit cards for various travel programs so you can max your points and miles…you are a savvy business traveler.
If you have an insane amount points that you never use because you don’t have time to actually use them…you are a work traveler for sure.
If you have two seasons of your fav Amazon Prime show downloaded on your iPad and another season on your phone for backup…you hate being bored when traveling.
If you are on a first name basis with the TSA Agents at your home airport…you might be a business traveler.
If you have TSA Precheck, Global Entry and Clear…you hate standing in a security line (and you travel work).
If the hotel desk clerks all stand and applaud when you check in…you might be a business traveler.
If you are religious about a privacy screen filter for your laptop so no one can bird dog your territory sales strategy that you are scrambling to complete on the flight before your sales kick off (how am I gonna hit the number this year!?!?!)…you are business traveler and in sales.
If you know what a mileage run is…yeah, you might be a road warrior.
If you literally feel no stress at all pulling up to the airport with a mere 40 minutes before your flight departs (as you look down to make sure TSA PreCheck is on your mobile boarding pass)…you are a savvy business traveling badass.
If you book multiple hotel stays in the same city so you can advance to the next rewards program level…you have a problem (and you might be a business traveler).
If you never check your bag (and laugh at all who do!)…you are definitely a business traveler!
If you travel with a sewing kit, portable charger and several other travel necessities…you are a smart business traveler who knows what he/she are doing.
If the flight attendants know you by name…you might be a business traveler.
If your rental car is warmed up, parked to the side and ready to go for you when you arrive at a destination…you might be a road warrior.
If the only clothes you own are wrinkle free no-iron dress clothes…you know what’s up when it comes to biz travel. #NeverIron
If you have memorized the hotel layouts of Fairfield Inn’s…you need to travel less.
If the thought of eating at another Outback Steakhouse makes you nauseous…you might want to dial back your travel a tad.
If people who can’t stow their bags correctly and take a flippin seat irritate the living piss out of you…you might just be a road warrior.
If your throw pillows on your couch at home are customized boarding passes…you might have a travel problem!
If after 3 days home you are itchin to get back on the road again…you might be a business traveler.
If you already have your REAL ID…you are clearly a business traveler!
If after 5 days at home your significant other is asking you when your next business trip is…you might be a business traveler.
If you have a customized luggage tag reflecting your deep love for your home airport…you need to get a life (and you are clearly a business travel nerd!)
If accounting sends you nasty grams about “how much money” you are costing the company with your travel expenses…you might be a business traveler.
If you get the upgrade over your boss…you are definitely a business traveler.
If you travel more than your CEO…you might be a business traveler (and in sales!)
If other airlines are trying to get you to switch to their airline…you might be a business traveler.
If you buy your travel toiletries in bulk to save money…you are likely a business traveler.
If you do your expense report while you are ON your trip…you might be a business traveler.
If you can recite the safety briefing on the airplane by heart…you live in an airplane.
If you have a collection of Hilton Garden Inn Room keys in your business travel backpack…you are a road warrior for sure.
If Hilton sends you a thank you letter personally signed by the CEO each year…you might want to get off the road.
If you are own a $300+ pair of noise cancelling headphones…you hate engine noise and are a frequent business traveler for sure!
If you have FRAMED your collection of Room Keys...you need help.
If you own a $150.00 piece of carryon luggage…you are a travel professional!
If you are on your 3rd Marriage…you might be a business traveler. Ouch, that one kinda hurt.
If you are reading this blog post…and laughed your arse off…you ARE a business traveler.
If while reading this post you thought of like 27 more of these…you a seriously NEXT LEVEL business traveler…haha. Oh, and please share it with us!

If you are interested in reviewing some of the actual upsides of regular business travel check out What is the upside of business travel?

And of course, we could talk about the downsides of traveling for work all day…

Final thoughts on being a business traveler

We hope you loved this silly post! And we hope you aren’t traveling too much! If you are looking for more laughs check out our travel memes.

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By the way, if you are interested in more travel tips and travel advice, you might like these great articles:

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