Site icon C Boarding Group – Travel, Remote Work & Reviews

To help or not help with a woman’s suitcase on a plane. Sexism? Manners? You decide

Jeremy B
To help or not help with a woman's suitcase on a plane. Sexism_ Manners_ You decide

A recent Twitter exchange from writer and poet Caroline Rothstein has set the internet on fire and folks on both sides of this “issue” are weighing in. We are not strangers to a little controversy and we’d like to get your thoughts, opinions and insights.

Here’s the post from Rothstein:

Rothstein is, of course, referring to a new conundrum facing travelers both male and female and how (or if) this is an issue of manners or another instance of toxic masculinity:

Full Disclosure: I am a 43 year old white male from Southern California. 

I give you my opinion at the end.

Responses to Rothstein’s tweet (which at time of publishing had been retweeted nearly 500 times and had almost 2.5k likes) have been all over the map, but mostly in protest to Rothstein’s comments. For example, Erielle Davidson, a contributor at the Federalist noted in response (which has 26k likes and 3.5k retweets:

Even Reporter Soledad O’Brien weighed in:

The Knack Pack – expandable “one bag life” backpack for travelers. See Price. 

Others, like Rebecca noted:

Someone Named Milton said:

While @klmccook offer this:

Here are a few other responses:

I looked (and looked) for tweets that wholeheartedly supported her position and struggled to find many. After reading and re-reading many of the responses it seems that Twiter has come down on the side of the man who attempted to help her. But, if you find any that make a useful counter argument, tweet me and I will add a few.

Rothstein recently tweeted this response in reply to the backlash her original tweet received:

Here’s where we come down (and remember…I am a 43 year old white male from California)

I was raised a certain way. To hold doors open for people, particularly women and taught that manners matter. Yes m’am. No sir. Please. Thank you. etc. Historically, I will offer to help women with their bags, but I never presume they need help and I never jump in without their permission. Many women, in fact, ask for help. Some, politely reject my request which is fine. Others gladly accept it.

You might be interest to learn how these 6 gadgets help me avoid travel boredom

This is just how I was raised and I know, personally, in my heart of hearts, I don’t feel any sort of sexism in my offer (maybe I am just wrong, though). I’ve also helped elderly men with their bags, or moms with a kid on her hip, or military folks with far too much gear. I hold doors open for men, for women, for my boss, or my subordinates and colleagues. My friends, my wife, my kids, etc. And if someone does the same for me, that’s cool. To me, it’s an issue of manners and nothing more.

But, I will tell you, that lately I’ve been a little gun shy. And it’s because of responses like those noted in Rothstein’s tweet. I know I am not a sexist pig. I wasn’t raised that way either. But, I also don’t want to get into some brouhaha on a plane with someone who thinks I am oppressing her by asking to lift her clearly overstuffed bag (ok, I embellished the overstuffed part).

So, personally, I wish everyone would just chill the heck out, use some more manners, and if you want to reject the help, cool. No hard feelings on my side. And I hope you don’t have any on your side towards me and my request.

PS…I also don’t know Rothstein and am going to give her the polite benefit of the doubt here and assume she did mean it tongue and cheek.

What are your thoughts? Should a man offer to help a woman with her bags? Should she accept it? It offering sexist? Is rejecting it rude? Is accepting it accepting toxic masculinity? What say you!?

Final Thoughts

What am I missing, folks? Educate me. Drop us a comment or tweet us @CBoardingGroup. We’d love to hear from you. Better yet check out some of our affiliate links…like this sweet deal on a Priority Lounge pass:

 If you liked this content, please do us a favor share it on social media and click the “like” button below and don’t forget to follow us on social media including Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest and Facebook.

And, of course, if you are interested in more travel tips and travel advice and product reviews, you might like these great articles:

Affiliate Disclosure: As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. I may also earn commissions from other affiliate programs as applicable.

Exit mobile version