When we were younger and even into our early adults years, my brother and I would give my dad a hard time whenever he did “old guy things” around the house. This good-natured ribbing rolled off our dad’s back as back as he just laughed at our jests with a knowing look. “When you get a little older, son, you’ll see.”
Our grandfather was the same way. He had a few things he did all the time that always perplexed us grand kids. More old guy stuff, we thought. That’s weird.
Now that I am in my 40’s I realize how right they both were. Indeed, my father and grandfather had mastered the art of the old guy through the use of 3 old man hacks they used all the time.
Happy Father’s Day, dad. You. Were. Right.
Here’s what he got right.
Why are you so itchy, dad?
Both my father (and my grandfather) always had a back-scratcher within arms reach. Always.
Watching a football game? The back-scratcher would be resting on their lap or sitting on an end table. Visiting us? They’d bring their own back-scratcher with them.
Heck, my brother and I even received a custom back-scratcher set for a Christmas gift one year. We always thought this was odd…you know, old guy stuff.
Why were these guys so itchy? Because, apparently, the older you get the itchier you get. As a person ages their skin can become drier which can cause itchiness.
An itch can strike at any time and sometimes in a hard-to-reach spot. A back-scratcher can be a godsend when you are watching a round of Sunday afternoon golf and an itch catches your upper shoulder blade. Guess who has his own custom back-scratcher set now? And a travel-sized back-scratcher? THIS GUY
My butt hurts
I was perplexed by the small container of baby wipes sitting in my grandparents bathroom. They didn’t have any babies? Years later a noticed baby wipes had mysteriously shown up in my dad’s bathroom. What gives?
Turns out my grandfather and father were on to something.
Knowledge Stew notes that the average person will poop around 30,000 times in their lifetime and produce 14.6 tons of fecal matter. That’s a LOT of wiping.
I now totally get the diaper wipes. #OLDGUYHACKS
Indeed, the comfort afforded one’s derriere by using a soft, moist wipe is a welcome relief from years of 80 grit sandpaper. Not even upscale, soft toilet paper can hold a candle to a baby wipe.
Is it nap time yet?
Every Sunday afternoon my dad would stretch out on our floral colored living room sofa and snooze for an hour or so. Us kids were always irritated because it meant we had to be quiet and couldn’t cause a ruckus.
We joked that naps were for little kids and babies.
When visiting my grandfather he would mysteriously disappear in the middle of the day. When we asked where he went, our grandmother informed us he was catching a quick snooze. Again, that’s weird.
It turns out, a good nap can be the highlight of the day and incredibly useful. Winston Churchill, a notorious napper, heavily relied on daily naps a key part of his regimen.
“Churchill himself regarded his midday naps as essential for maintaining his mental balance, renewing his energy, and reviving his spirits. He had gotten into the habit of napping during World War I, when he was First Lord of the Admiralty, and even during the Blitz, Churchill would retire to his private room in the War Rooms after lunch, undress, and sleep for an hour or two. Unless German bombs were falling, he would then head to 10 Downing Street for a bath, change into fresh clothes, and return to work. Churchill’s valet, Frank Sawyers, later recalled, “It was one of the inflexible rules of Mr. Churchill’s daily routine that he should not miss rest.” – Michael Hyatt
Now that I am bit older, I look forward to days where I can take a nap. In fact, many times, I will take a quick power nap in the middle of the day. I usually have more energy and am ready to power through the rest of the day.
My dad and my grandfather were onto something…
Getting older isn’t horrible, but it is different and I like it…so far.
As the years march on I have begun to notice different things about my body. I tend to wake earlier in the day, my metabolism has slowed, I have less tolerance for stupid people and yes, I am 100% on the back-scratcher, baby wipe and nap train. How about you?
Happy Father’s Day Dad…love ya.
PS…what’s your favorite old guy hack? Drop us a comment below.
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