RANT: Coffee & the Business Traveler

When you are on the road you don’t always know what time zone you are going to wake up in. But there’s a good chance you are gonna wake up dog tired and in desperate need of a good cup of joe. The problem is when you are living the road warrior life the coffee you run into is all over the map.

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With a healthy dose of humor (and caffeine) here’s a few of my favorite types of coffee that the road warrior will run into whilst slogging along to their next destination.

That cup you throw in the mug w/ a spill proof lid as you leave for 6am flight from your house (at 4am…). It always spills.
The lukewarm cup on the plane brought to you by the grumpy flight attendant who is just as tired as you are. You know your gonna spill it. And was it made last night?

OR….

The unusually hot cup of coffee on that same plane that for some reason the flight attendant thought to heat up to 4.2m degrees. You are definitely spilling that one.

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The hastily made cup in the hotel room using a coffee machine that we ALL KNOW has not been cleaned…well, since ever. And by the way, what’s up with all the weird coffee machines in hotels. You never see contraptions like that in any other part of the universe.
The cup you get in the hotel lobby. It say’s “strong” – but I do not think they understand what that means.
The customer’s coffee. You can’t turn it down. No matter how full your bladder is, or how dirty that coffee machine is. You gotta drink it.

The $8.75-for-a-small-cup-of-coffee that you buy at the airline terminal to stave off the migraine. It hurts to hand the teller that Amex. Hurts real good.
The hipster coffee you get at the “one place you have to visit” with the cool name (like Dark Fluid or Nude Beans) when you visit wherever you are. A 27 year dude w/ a handlebar mustache, suspenders and a 45k college loan from a degree in English lit serves you a cup. And you put that crap on Instagram. You know you do.
That afternoon cup you grab at Dunkin Donuts because, well, there’s one on every corner. Why does anyone drink that swill anyway. It’s always burnt. #Dunkinisoverrated
That last cup of coffee you grab on the plane when your about an hour from landing so you balance staying awake for the drive home vs. never falling asleep when you actually do get home.

How about you? What are your coffee stories while on the road? Worst cup of coffee? Best cup?

Share your coffee tips (or recommendations) and stories with us!

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Coffee Hipsters Rants

1 comment

Billy Bob May 8, 2019 - 5:04 pm

Ask the DD guy to make a fresh pot (they will usually – they’re supposed to throw out the coffee after something like 20 minutes – or less) and then ask for extra cream (DD uses real unsweetened light cream). You won’t lose any of that subcutaneous fat following you around, but you’ll get a nice cup of brewed coffee.

RANT: Coffee & the Business Traveler

Jeremy Ballou

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